Saturday, September 12, 2009

2 months old

So Benjamin is now 2 months old..actually 2 months and one week. I can't believe it. Time has gone by so quickly, he is getting so big and his personality is really shining through. It is a weird feeling though...time is going by fast, but I also cannot remember life without Ben. It is a weird feeling not being able to remember what my life used to consist of. My life now is so much more fulfilling and meaningful, I am now much more important and feel like my life has purpose. Life now just seems to be perfect. Well...maybe not perfect, but pretty close to it. Once Derek went back to work I got into a pretty bad funk. I was really lonely at night and I think I may have been dealing with a little bit of depression. It is hard being alone at night. At night is when it feels like it should be family time, so when I am by myself it just kind of stinks. But, I have learned to cherish my alone time with Ben and to get out of the house and do things. I take anyone's offer to go out, and I am trying to be as active as possible. I am doing much better and hope to continue to well.
Ben had his 2 month check up. Everything is going great. He is in the 50th-75th% (13lbs.) for weight and 95th-100th%(24 3/4in) for height. He is super tall which is funny because neither Derek or I have super tall families. His circ. is still not healing properly. We have to go back to the urologist in 2 months and I am pretty sure that he will have to get his circ. redone. They gave us some cream to put on, which is helping but not fixing the problem. I am bummed and feel like a horrible mom for making him go through this. I have this horrible fear that something is wrong with his little boyhood, but the doctor assures me that it just didn't heal right. I will be happy when it gets all better. Besides that he is very healthy. His head is a little lopsided because he always turns his head to the right, so we are trying to lay him down so his head goes to the left, but he always rolls it back to the right side...
Ben laughs and smiles like crazy. His laugh is so funny, it cracks me up. If I was better at this blogging stuff I would put a video of him laughing on here because I know it would put a smile on your face. He seems to be a very happy boy which makes me feel like I must be doing something right!
Derek leaves for Boston in 2 weeks. He will be gone for 5 days.(I know Jenna this is nothing compared to your husband who is in France)He is already sad about leaving Ben for that long, yeah he hasn't really mentioned being sad about leaving me, just Ben... but since Ben is part me, I feel like he will miss me too!
Work is going good. I love my kiddos and it is truly the perfect job for me at this point in my life. I am not sure if I will want to make a career of preschool, but I am definitely keeping an open mind.
I am trying to remember to take one day at a time and be thankful for all that I have. We are tight on money right now, so I just try to be happy that I have a wonderful family, a house, food, clothes, etc. Especially since Derek works very hard for all that we have I don't want to always be negative about how much money we have in the back. We are making it and we will make it, and luckily God will always provide for us, he always has in the past!


Holly said...

Hey! I'm sorry to hear about his circumcision not healing correctly. He is doing really well otherwise. He's gotten so big! Has it gotten easier to leave him while you're at work? Where does he stay when you're gone?

Mary said...

I am only gone for about 3 1/2 hours a day, so it is not too bad. Derek works swings (4pm-2am) so he is home with Ben in the mornings. Are you working or planning on working when the baby comes?

Jenna said...

I'm so jealous that Ben is laughing. Jax doesn't seem to want to laugh. He has laughed 2 times and both of those were barely real laughs. When he is happy, he just grins and then talks. A LOT! But I really wish he would laugh more. So, I know that my 6 weeks without a husband is a lot longer than your 5 days... but any amount of time alone sucks. So I feel your pain!

Mary said...

Well... I hate to tell you this, but My folks are actually going to come stay with me, so I won't be as alone as you are. I'm sorry! It is still going to be hard though, and I still get really lonely when Derek is at work during the week. It is really just those nights that are killing me!

catd said...

Thanks for the update, Mar-Bear. You are really a blessed mommy. Benjamin seems so happy and it is rewarding to start getting that feedback from them. Wait til he actually says, "I love you".
You are on the right track to take one day at a time. You are seeing how fast time can go so even this "being poor" will seem like a distant memory before you know it. I sure am hoping this rental situation works out so we can come without any concern about what is going on back here. I guess you could say dad and I will be homeless :). I can't wait to hold Mr. Ben again. When I see his newborn photos I already miss that part of his life. It's the only time babies are just completely happy being snuggled for hours on end. But, I want to hear him laugh in person.
Love you sweet heart. You are doing a great job.

hsmypsn said...

I'm so happy for you! just letting you know i can always babysit or even kidsit when ben is older. i'm sure you have plenty of takers, though, just letting you know i'm here if you ever need anything!