Tuesday, March 30, 2010

9 months old

I cannot believe that my baby boy is 9 months old. Before I know it we will be having his 1st birthday party. I have already started thinking about what theme I want to have at his first birthday. I am thinking dinosaurs or maybe a 4th of July themed birthday party. What do you think??? Ben's doctor's appt. is next week and I am very curious to find out how much he has grown.
Benjamin has recently started this thing where he will NOT lay still while we change his diaper. He tosses and turns, and let me say it can get pretty frustrating. We can't even change him on his changing table anymore because he turns over and can crawl out of him safety strap. What a little booger. I try to say "no" and give him the tiniest little swat, but he just looks at me and laughs. I have a feeling that we are going to have our hands full in a couple of months. I don't really know if it is possible to start disciplining a baby this early, but I say "no" and give a mommy look, but he just smiles and continues doing what he isn't supposed to be doing. I have just been using the method of distraction, which is working okay, but when can you actually discipline??? I am obviously not going to spank him at this age, we really haven't decided if we are going to spank him at all...just wondering what you other moms out there are doing? I just don't want our child to be the child that is out of control and doesn't listen. EMBARASSING!!!
Benjamin also has discovered that he loves to be naked. Which is why I think he wants to crawl away when we are changing him. Sometimes I let him crawl around for a little bit, but I don't want him to pee...or worse poo... all over the carpet. If we were in our house with the wood floors it would be bad, but we aren't so he doesn't crawl around naked too often.
House update: roof is completely finished, gas pipes in, plumbing in, new master closet re-framed, and new master bath re-framed. woooohooo!!!


catd said...

What a cute picture of a cute naked boy. Love that kid.

amy said...

Discipline has much more to do with leading and following than techniques. Whether we like it or not, our children are our disciples from day one. So, to your question about when to start disciplining: You've already started (and are probably doing a great job).

To your question about how to get a baby to cooperate with diaper changes: Good luck! Distraction is probably the best bet for now.

When it comes to using various parenting techniques (spanking, threatening, scheduling, anticipating, etc.) two good questions to ask yourself are:

1) What does this technique communicate to my child (considering his developmental stage)?

2) Do I want my child to use this same behavior to solve his own problems? Because he will.

Iva said...

awww so cute!!!!

Mary said...

Amy: I was spanked as a child and I never hit or spanked other children when I needed to solve a conflict. I think that all depends on the child and how the parent communicates to the child during/after the spanking.

amy said...

I agree with you. That's why the question of "what is communicated" is so important. Any technique can be used poorly, and some are riskier than others.

Even "good" parenting techniques can be used badly. Calm and rational speech with "loving" words, that is laced with the underlying message that the child won't be loved if he/she makes a mistake is much more problematic than the occasional spanking given by a compassionate and reasonable parent.

What matter most are the maturity and self-control of the parent, and the temperament and personality of the child. The interaction of those three things (technique, parental messages, and child's unique perspective) is what I mean by "what is communicated to the child" and why it is so important that discipline is appropriate to the child's developmental stage.

You are right, spanking itself does not necessarily lead to hitting. But, if the parent is communicating (whether intentionally or not) that bullying is the way to solve problems, the child will do likewise (even if only against the self).

On the other hand, if the parent communicates that some mistakes result in painful consequences, and that the child is still truly loved and respected, even as an occasional mistake-maker, that's ideal.

The reality is, even the best parent will be misunderstood at times. Communication takes two, and it's never perfect. Do the best you can with God's help. That's all any of us can do.